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12-Jun-2002 01:47 PM

"Oh Canada, our home and native land...."

Tarasishe

Hey guys. Someone has emailed me those articles. I know they are long, but I couldn't help posting them. Sorry, hope someone gonna like them, in one way or another

I know we all felt something like that described in here, so I though you will understand them. If someone has someting to comment, you are more then welcome.
Take care.
Taras.
-----------------------

Diary of a new Canadian Immigrant.
Aug. 12 -
Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited.It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.
Oct. 14 -
Canada. It is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colours and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.
Nov. 11 - Remembrance Day
Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here.
Dec. 2 -
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with>white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada.
Dec. 12 -
More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. Friggin snow plough.
Dec. 22 -
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.
Dec. 25 - Merry Fucking Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives the snow plough, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the friggin ice.
Dec. 27 - More white shit last night. Been inside for three days now except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plough goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white shit and it's so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
Dec. 28 -
That f'ng weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the shit this time. Can you believe that he missed it by 24 inches. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plough got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shoveling out all the shit he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his bloody head.
Jan. 4 -
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those stinkin' beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that bloody salt they put all over the roads. ??
May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada

P.S. SAVE A TREE - EAT A BEAVER
--------------------------

Canada's impressions

Sent by Unknown Author

Some men are good writers, others are not... Here are some impressions of a woman.
1. Canada is a primitive country. It is a country that has a young history, a whole population of losers striving to prove they are not, and a whole bunch of bureaucrats striving to prove to the whole world that living in the country of losers is the best thing to happen to losers in other countries.
2. Canada is a cruel country. It is a country where people live in the streets, wash youir windshields for pennies and reside in slums proudly called "apartment buildings".
3. Canada is a vicious country. In this country if you are an immigrant you are supposed to wash the floors or dishes, and if you do not want to do so, you are shown your place. It is a country where for a man to look at a woman (or a woman to a woman) means to be accused in sexual harassment.
4. Canada is a snobbish country. It is a country where a British immigrant has rights over an Indian one.
5. Canada is a sick country. It is a country where mentally sick people walk in the streets and feel free to talk to you, normal, and even kill you if they choose to do so.
ALL in all, Canada is a country of primitive snobbish vicious cruels losers. Wanna be one of them?

-------------------

Ïðèñëàíî Ñåðãååì Ã. Îñèïîâûì

Ïî÷èòàâ ïåðâûå ñòàòüè - äóìàåøü - .... æàëêî âñå -òàêè ëþäåé. È íå ïîòîìó, ÷òî íå äåëàþò ñðàçó êó÷ó äåíåã â äðóãîé ñòðàíå è èìåþò ïðîáëåìû. Áåç ïðîáëåì íå áûâàåò. Ïîëíîå îòñóòñòâèå ïîïûòîê àíàëèçà. "Ìû ïðèåõàëè è íàì çäåñÿ ïëîõî." Êàíàäà âèíîâàòà. Äà åé, èçâèíÿþñü çà âûðàæåíèå, íà âàñ íà÷õàòü. È Ðîññèè âïðî÷åì òîæå.

Íà ñàìîì äåëå òàì survival è çäåñü. Íî ñèòóàöèÿ äåéñòâèòåëüíî ðàçíàÿ.
Ïðèìèòèâíî ãîâîðÿ, ìîé âûáîð : ÿ õî÷ó áûòü ñïåöèàëèñòîì ïî C++ è íå õî÷ó áûòü àâòîìåõàíèêîì, ñàíòåõíèêîì, êàðàòèñòîì, âçÿòî÷íèêîì è ñïåöèàëèñòîì ïî ìàòåìàòè÷åñêîìó ìîäåëèðîâàíèþ. Ïîñëåäíèé íàáîð ìíå ïðåäëàãàëñÿ â Ìîñêâå. ß ïðîñòî óáèðàþ ïåðåìåííûå èç çàäà÷è è çíà÷èòåëüíî åå óïðîùàþ. Íàäî èìåòü íåêîòîðóþ ñìåëîñòü è íåçàâèñèìîñòü ìûøëåíèÿ, ÷òîáû ýòî äåëàòü è íå ñòîíàòü.

ß ñîâñåì íå óâåðåí, ÷òî â Ðîññèè îáÿçàòåëüíî ïîëó÷èøü êà÷åñòâåííîå îáðàçîâàíèå. Õîòÿ ÿ ñâîå ïîëó÷èë â ÌÃÓ. Íî ñêîëüêî ìîèõ îäíîêóðñíèêîâ ðàáîòàåò ïî ñïåöèàëüíîñòè - ïðîöåíòîâ 5%.
Â Ðîññèè âñå åùå åñòü íàäåæäû íà ñîâêîâóþ ìóøòðóþùóþ ñèñòåìó. Âñåì âûó÷èòü òàáëèöó óìíîæåíèÿ! Âñåì èçó÷àòü ìàòàíàëèç, ïèñàòü ñî÷èíåíèÿ, ýññå è ò.ä. - øàãîì ìàðø â ìèðîâóþ êóëüòóðó. Êëàññ!

Âîïðîñ! Ïî÷åìó åñëè ìû òàêèå óìíûå è êóëüòóðíûå, ïî÷åìó ó íàñ òàêèå ïëîõèå äîðîãè è òàêèå ïðèâîêçàëüíûå òóàëåòû?
Ïî÷åìó óìíûå áåãóò ê òóïûì? Ïî÷åìó ñòðàíà, çàïóñòèâøàÿ â êîñìîñ ÷åëîâåêà íå ìîæåò ñäåëàòü ïðèëè÷íûé ëåãêîâîé àâòîìîáèëü. Îòâåòèòå íà íåãî, è êîå-÷òî ïîéìåòå.

Ïîñòîÿííûå âîñêëèöàíèÿ "Îíè çäåñü âñå òóïûå!" Îòâåò ïðîñò - âû ïðîñòî íå ïðèíàäëåæèòå ê èõ ýëèòå. Âàñ ïîêà òóò íå ñòîÿëî. ×àñòî âû çàâòðàêàåòå è ïðîãóëèâàòåñü ñ òîï ìåíåäæåðàìè âåäóùèõ êîìïàíèé, ïðîôåññîðàìè óíèâåðñèòåòîâ, ïðåóñïåâàþùèìè äîêòîðàìè? ß îáñóæäàë ñî ñâîèìè êàíàäñêèìè çíàêîìûìè Äåêàðòà è Ñïèíîçó, Ìàðêåñà è Áóëãàêîâà. È òóïîñòè íå íàáëþäàë. Íàéäèòå â Ðîññèè, â Ìîñêâå ÷òî-òî ïîäîáíîå Chapters èëè Indigo. Êîòîðûå åñòü â êàæäîì ðàéîíå. Ýòî ýëåìåíò êóëüòóðû. Òîé, êîòîðîé â Ðîññèè ïîêà íåò.
ß æèâó â building(e). Ìíå ìåñòíûå ïîäðîñòêè áåãóò äâåðü îòêðûòü! ×òî âàì ïîæåëàþò ïîäðîñòêè â Ìîñêâå èëè ïîäìîñêîâüå? Íàøè ðàçâëåêàëèñü òåì, ÷òî âçðûâàëè âçðûâïàêåòû, ïîäæèäàÿ æèëüöà, ñïóñêàþùåãîñÿ ïî ëåñòíèöå.

Ëþäè çäåñü äðóãèå. Ïðîæèâè çäåñü ëåò 15 è ìîæåò ÷òî-íèáóäü ïîéìåøü. Ýòî êàê-òî ñêàçàëà ìíå îäíà ïîæèëàÿ ýìèãðàíòêà, ïðîæèâøàÿ â Êàíàäå áîëüøóþ ÷àñòü ñâîåé æèçíè. Ìû è îíè ðàçíûå. Ðàçíàÿ èñòîðèÿ, êóëüòóðà, ãåîãðàôèÿ, âîñïèòàíèå, îáðàç æèçíè. ×òî æå âû õîòèòå?. Âû ýòî ìîæåòå ïðèíÿòü èëè íåò.

Çäåñü åñòü âåëèêîëåïíûå óñëîâèÿ äëÿ ó÷åáû - êíèãè, êîìïüþòåðû, ñïåöèàëèñòû. Íàäî õîòåòü áðàòü. Îíè íèêîãî íå çàñòàâëÿþò, íî äàþò âîçìîæíîñòü ïðîèçðàñòàòü. È åñëè òû õî÷åøü ñèëüíî, òî äîáüåøñÿ âñåãî è äàæå áîëüøå.
Â àìåðèêàíñêîì îáùåñòâå òàêèõ ïðèìåðíî 10%. Ïîäñ÷èòàëè ñîöèîëîãè. Òåõ, êîòîðûå õîòÿò, áåðóò è íå îñòàíàâëèâàþòñÿ íà äîñòèãíóòîì.
Êàê Áèëë Ãåéòñ íàïðèìåð. Ñòîëüêî óæå äåíåã íàêà÷àë. Êàê íàøè ãîâîðÿò, ìîã áû "çàêýøèòüñÿ" è ïðîæèâàòü íà Áàãàìàõ. Âîïðîñ â äðóãîì - âàøè äåòè è âû ïðèíàäëåæèòå ê ýòèì 10%? Åñëè íåò - íå ïåðåæèâàéòå, âàì áóäåò òÿæåëî - à âàøè äåòèøêè óñòðîÿòñÿ è ïðîæèâóò ñâîþ æèçíü òàêæå, êàê 90% äðóãèõ. Ñ òî÷êè çðåíèÿ ïîòðåáëåíèÿ - ãîðàçäî ëó÷øå ÷åì â Ðîññèè.

Òàê íàçûâàåìàÿ ãðÿçíàÿ ðàáîòà ... . Äëÿ ìåíÿ íàïðèìåð - ïðîãðàììèñò - "ãðÿçíàÿ ðàáîòà" è ÿ íå øó÷ó. Ïîòîìó ÷òî äî ýòîãî ÿ äåëàë ðàáîòó, íà êîòîðîé ãîâîðèëè, "íó ýòî ïðîãðàììèñò, ÷òî âû îò íåãî õîòèòå". Íî ÿ ìîãó è ìóñîð óáèðàòü è ÿ ýòî äåëàë, è îò ýòîãî ìîÿ ëè÷íîñòü íå óáûëà. ß çíàþ, ÷òî ÿ, ýòî ÿ. È ÿ ñåáå óæå êîå-÷òî äîêàçàë. È åùå äîêàæó. Èñïûòàíèå - äà. Æèçíü - ñïëîøü èñïûòàíèå. Ñ íåáîëüøèìè ìîìåíòàìè ðàäîñòè. È ýòè ìîìåíòû íå çàâèñÿò â îáùåì-òî îò áëàãîñîñòîÿíèÿ.

È åùå, ýòî êîíå÷íî íå âñåõ êàñàåòñÿ ...
ß êàê-òî ñêàçàë îäíîìó ñâîåìó çíàêîìîìó: (öèòèðóþ ñåáÿ - ýòî ñêðîìíîñòü!) - "Âîâà, ó òåáÿ áóäåò îñîáíÿê íà 10 ìèëëèîíîâ è ìåðñåäåñ - è òû áóäåøü íûòü, ÷òî ñòåíû íå â òîò öâåò îêðàøåíû, ãîðíè÷íàÿ ñàõàð ïðèâîðîâûâàåò, ó ìåðñà çàäíåå êîëåñî ñïóñêàåò".

Ñ÷àñòüå - ýòî ñîñòîÿíèå äóøè, åå ñâåò. Ëèáî îí åñòü, ëèáî åãî íåò. È ïî÷òè íå âàæíî ãäå âû âûæèâàåòå, â Ðîññèè èëè â Àìåðèêå è ñêîëüêî ó âàñ äåíüãîâ.
[Brat 3: University of Pennsylvania I]

13-Jun-2002 06:27 AM

Re: "Oh Canada, our home and native land...."

proper

First: nice, I read it before, but the version I saw had more fu..ing words.

Second: the women have never taken English Comp or kist of that shit. They need some practice in expressing their thoughts. But in general - funny

Third: This story is a hard one and needs some thinking over. But, I guess, we have alrady talked on this matter in the past. There must be about half a thousand of such messages. Still, cool story - it contains a few important points.

Greetings,
Proper
[Brat 3: University of Pennsylvania I]

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